


Memories

by NotLikeYouThink



Series: Elder Scrolls One-Shots [3]
Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Angst, Companions, Dark Brotherhood - Freeform, Jorrvaskr, Other, Whiterun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-25 20:23:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13842327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotLikeYouThink/pseuds/NotLikeYouThink
Summary: Before you saved the world from Alduin, you and Vilkas had a thing. But now, three months later, you’re returning to the Companions, and Vilkas wants to know why.





	Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Requested by @iamanemotionaltickingtimebomb on Tumblr. 
> 
> Prompt: 44. "I still remember how you taste."

You looked up at the city of Whiterun as you slid off your horse, your heart pounding in your chest. You haven’t stepped foot in Whiterun since Odahviing flew you to Skuldafn, but there was something else in the city that made you hesitant to enter it.

The stablehand grabbed the reins of your horse and led it into the stables.

You swallowed the bile rising in your throat. There was no going back now.

Taking a deep breath, you started up the path to the gates of Whiterun, remembering the reason _why_ you were in Falkreath.

You and Vilkas had ended on bad terms.

You still remembered the soft touches that caressed your skin, and how he felt on your lips and between your legs. How it felt when he mumbled an _I love you_ into your ear, igniting your chest alight.

You had loved him. You still did. But as your love burned like a burning bonfire, it fizzled out too quickly.

You remembered the arguing that happened. Especially after Kodlak died, and you became Harbinger. He was probably acting Harbinger while you were gone. Good. The Companions needed a strong leader. Not you. You weren’t strong, no matter how many dragons you’d killed.

It had all ended when you went to Windhelm. And then Riften. And then Windhelm again. And then Morthal. The Aretino boy and the Black Sacrament. You killed that old lady. The next night you found yourself in an old shack, kidnapped by someone that claimed to be from the Dark Brotherhood. Proved it when she ordered you to kill. And you did. And you liked it.

You and Vilkas had promised never to lie to each other, so when you got back to Jorrvaskr, you told him where you had been. And you told him you were considering going.

He had yelled at you, demanding you stayed in Whiterun with him and the Companions. _What about being Harbinger, don’t you care about that?_ He had asked.you had told him you did, but you couldn’t do it anymore. It was too much on you. He didn’t believe you. He wanted you to stay while you wanted to leave.

So in the dead of night you snuck out and started for the Falkreath sanctuary.

You hadn’t reached the sanctuary when you got caught in an ambush by the Imperial soldiers along with several Stormcloaks and Ulfric Stormcloak himself. They took you to Helgen, and it just so happened to be the day Alduin returned.

You stood at the steps of Jorrvaskr now, staring up at the doors, your heart beating erratically, threatening to break your ribs. Swallowing, you ascended the stairs, and pushed open the door with shaky hands.

Jorrvaskr was exactly how you remembered—the table surrounding the fire in the middle of the room, Njada beating Athis to a pulp with everyone around them cheering. No one had seen her yet. She made her way behind the group, still unnoticed. Njada punched Athis in the face, sending him to the ground. He held his hands up in surrender, and Njada stood over him, smirking.

You shook your head, smirking. “When will Athis learn he can’t beat Njada?”

Everyone turned to look at you, confused for a second. You spotted Vilkas near Njada, a silent fury forming on his face as he saw you. You smirked at him as Farkas let out a bellow, calling your name and wrapping you in a tight hug.

When he finally let you go, he asked: “Where have you been? We’ve all missed you!”

A grin appeared on your face. “Oh, you know, here and there. Sorry for disappearing like that. I had to do something.”

“And what was that?” Vilkas asked from where he still stood next to Njada, his arms crossed over his chest.

You clenched your jaw. “You want to do this here? Okay. I was heading to Falkreath to join the Dark Brotherhood.”

Gasps and swears filled the upturned boat.

“What?” Ria asked. “Why?”

You raised a shoulder. “I have my reasons. You can’t try to change my mind—Vilkas already tried it and just _look_ where it ended.”

The two glared at each other, neither of them backing down.

“But I never reached Falkreath. Almost, but not quite.”

“What happened? Njada asked, curious.

“I got caught up in Helgen,” she said, pausing, before she added, “the day the dragons returned.”

More gasps filled the room.

Vilkas stepped up to her. “Can we talk? In private?”

You shrugged your shoulders. “Sure. But if it turns sour, I’m leaving. Got it?”

He nodded, and you followed him to the lower levels of Jorrvaskr and to the Harbinger’s room. You closed the door as he turned to you. You couldn’t read his expression, and you had no idea what he wanted to talk to you about.

“Is it true?” he asked. “Were you really in Helgen?”

You nodded. “Yes. Turns out, I’m Dragonborn.”

He ran a hand down the side of his face. “Yeah, I gathered that. Look, I’ve been thinking these last couple months, and I… I miss you. I really miss you.”

“Is that all you want to say?”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “I understand why you wanted to leave. **I still remember how you taste.** ”

“That’s not going to work on me, Vilkas,” you said, keeping your tears at bay. “I’ve changed since I last saw you. I’m Dragonborn now. I’ve been through things no one else has. I’ve been to _Sovngarde,_ Vilkas. I saw Kodlak there.”

A tear fell down Vilkas’ cheek.

“I’m not the person you fell in love with, and I never will be. I’m going to Falkreath, whether you like it or not. I’ve had enough people try to control me these past few months, I don’t need you trying, too.”

She took a deep breath, wiping at her eyes. “Goodbye Vilkas. I won’t be seeing you again.”

And you left the room.

You ignored everyone as you stormed out of Jorrvaskr, heading to the main gate. You ignored the guard that tried to stop you to ask for something for his child, who was apparently a big fan. When you got to the stables, you hopped on your horse, and headed for Falkreath, pushing Whiterun out of her mind. Not forever, just for now.

She would keep the Companions as memories, but nothing more. They don’t deserve it.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is longer than I thought it would be. And there's angst! Woo!
> 
> Please check out my other stories and my Tumblr page! Link is in my bio.


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